Week 2: Three Women Spill It - Their Barking Dog Ego vs. Spirit Experiment

Howdy Folks! I loved recording this week's episode.  You'll hear three women and three generation perspectives: Gen Z, Millennial and Gen X discuss their findings when discovering their 'barking dog' (the ego).  Listen how each of them grew in self discovery and how eye opening their experiences were!

Do you remember a time when you were angry, hurt or jealous, and instead of addressing it, you bottled it up?  Well, we sure do. We even had the chance to address them head on over the past week. Through personal anecdotes, we explore the importance of managing feelings and understanding why it's crucial not to absorb others' emotional state. We share practical strategies such as journaling to process our emotions and discuss how doodling can stimulate parts of the brain that help us navigate our emotional labyrinth.

Or, have you ever felt grounded and truly present in the moment?  Carrie, Jordan, Keri and Carla,  join us to discuss the concept of grounding and the art of practicing generosity in our daily lives. Drawing inspiration from the Holy Spirit, Eckhart Tolle and Dr. Caroline Leaf,  we delve into the profound impact of staying present and being generous with our time, resources, and heart. The dialogue further underlines the importance of recognizing our ego, ensuring we don't take things personally, and prioritizing emotional boundaries.

Moving forward, we reflect on personal growth and the influence of our upbringing on our behavior. Join Carla and Carrie as they uncover the power of positive self-talk and how embracing change fosters positive outcomes. We also shed light on the transformative energy of prayer, the meaning of self-discovery, and remaining receptive to new paths and possibilities. Tune in for an enlightening episode packed with valuable insights on managing emotions, grounding, and harnessing the power of prayer and self-discovery.

Week 2 - Homework:

1.  Grounding - find new ways of being in the present moment.
2.  Generous - journal the ways you love and dislike being generous.  Journal why you feel this way.
3.  Doodle - use this writing technique to help open the basal ganglia and help yourself process your thoughts and emotions.
4. Notice what your spirit is telling you this week, journal your findings.

Listen to the last 20 minutes of the podcast to find out more details.  Come join our fun in self discovery for a more peaceful life.

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Chapters

• 0:31 Gen Z Experience - Jordan
• 15:10 Millennial Experience - Keri
• 23:48 Gen X Shares Revelations/Advice - Carla
• 27:24 Self-Reflection on Tone and Upbringing
• 33:39 The Power of Generosity and Prayer
• 45:47 Homework for Next Week - Grounding, Doodling,Generous

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:31

You came up with your barking dog.

Speaker 2: 0:33

I did. I named her Nala Nala.

Speaker 1: 0:39

There she is. Is her tongue sticking out? Is that what that is? No, she just looks sad. Is this extra skin?

Speaker 2: 0:47

Yeah, she just has a pouty sad dog begging face on her.

Speaker 1: 0:51

Yeah, how did your wheat go? Did it help you identifying your barking dog?

Speaker 2: 0:58

It definitely did. I realize I'm pretty quick to anger about certain things I don't want to do, like at the job in the morning like they wanted me to move the towels from the washer to the dryer and fold like 100 towels, and I was just so upset I'm like this wasn't in the job description folding towels and I was just like sitting there like folding towels, going through all the things in your head. I know what. I shouldn't be doing. This. They should hire someone else to fold towels and I should be in the office and I'm like what does it matter? I'm either way, I'm getting paid. It doesn't matter. Exactly, I'm still here. There's no one calling in the office right now. I'm sort of at the desk and doing nothing. I just like, okay, take a deep breath, it's not a big deal, it's just towels.

Speaker 1: 1:42

See, yeah, I love that it worked out.

Speaker 2: 1:45

It helped you. So, yeah, it was just like one of those things that just like made me so angry. Like why, like, if he's going to drive stupid, that doesn't mean I have to let him make me feel like I need to drive stupid as well. Like something I don't want to do. I don't want to drive silly, I don't want to get in a wreck. If he wants to cause a wreck because he wants to get to school or he's, it makes me so mad. I was starting to get like. You know, like when you get mad, you kind of feel like your heart starts beating fast.

Speaker 4: 2:11

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 2:12

And my phone parts start beating fast and I was right about to get to work. I'm like I need to calm down. There's no reason I need to be this mad for someone that is trying to make me mad. I just need to let them do that. And that's another thing too. Someone's frustrated and they take it out on you. I need I started to realize that too is that I don't need to meet that Like I don't need to meet them being angry because they're frustrated.

Speaker 1: 2:35

You don't need to take on their emotions. The energy yeah.

Speaker 2: 2:38

Yeah, and I feel like with emotion, I'm so good at just absorbing it and making it my own and I don't need to do that and I think that's part of my working dog too is taking on others emotions what really ruins my day, and I just need to let it go. It's so true.

Speaker 1: 2:53

Jordan, and I'm so glad that you're getting that at the age that you are, because I didn't know that at your age.

Speaker 2: 2:59

And it's definitely like that's probably the biggest one for me is that I've tried to notice that is they're going to be that angry, they're going to live that way. That doesn't mean I need to absorb it and make it my own or even just to realize me. They can be upset by themselves.

Speaker 1: 3:16

Yeah, it's like you can still be there for them, but it doesn't mean you absorb all of their energy and take on their problems.

Speaker 2: 3:25

Yeah, and I'm trying to be better at that. That's just the biggest thing I'm trying to be better about and I'm noticing more, and I mean it takes a lot of work. We can't change overnight or go switch back to our old ways.

Speaker 1: 3:38

It's super easy to switch back.

Speaker 2: 3:42

So I mean at least noticing my barking dog when it's happening, even if it's already happened, be like. Well, at least I know it happened and I can try to work on it.

Speaker 1: 3:50

To me, you just won because some people can't get there. Some people can't even notice what it's saying because it's so ingrained in who they are and their brain they can't separate it. So, just the fact that you've already separated it. You've heard those words. Did you find out this out in your journaling?

Speaker 2: 4:12

So I write down goals every morning and it was actually and some of them are just, like you know, basic things I need to do goals and then at the end of it, I've started writing down.

Speaker 2: 4:25

I mean, I did it every once in a while, but it was like last week or something, after we talked, another co-worker was upset and him taking out it on me made me upset and it was just like well, what's the point of me being here? Like, just totally like I was like you know what, try my best. That's all I can do is try my best. So every day since we've talked, at the end of my goals list I say try my best and just like okay, this is what I can try my best at and try not to be angry or noticing when I do, when writing it down. And then it's like your journal gets filled up and you realize how angry you get about small things. It's like it's not worse filling up my journal with angry things and rather just good things and like try better and take a deep breath. You know, look back and reflect rather than get mad.

Speaker 1: 5:15

I know what you mean about getting away with the writing you know and the journaling, and sometimes, because they say you know you got to work through it, you got to let the emotion pass through you and one way to do that is through the basal ganglia in your brain. When you write, it actually opens that part of your brain up where you can process information. So if you don't know, like you're trying to think things out, or you're trying to figure things out or you're contemplating something, that's why grabbing that pen and just started, you know writing and using your hand, yeah, it was just so therapeutic.

Speaker 2: 5:52

And it is, and I was really good at it when I was just doing real estate. When I was just doing that and then when I took on this other job, I realized I got out of that habit of writing my goals down in the morning and it was just like, well, why, just because something in my lifestyle changed doesn't mean I still shouldn't have my daily goals. Yeah, if I'm not writing them down at home, the first thing I do when I get to that shop is write down my goals and I was like that's probably not a great thing and I probably should be answering the phone, but I'm going to write down my goals because I need to, you know, focus and have goals and look back on it and be like, oh, I did that already, good, like that's something.

Speaker 1: 6:26

Yeah, and that makes you feel good. Yeah, you actually accomplished something that you wrote down, right? Yeah?

Speaker 2: 6:32

And I actually this is like a kind of a side note but I wrote myself a letter a year ago to my future self and it got.

Speaker 1: 6:38

You did.

Speaker 2: 6:39

Yeah, I got in the mail during this whole thing, like a couple of days ago, and just like writing those letters and like seeing, like yeah, I didn't accomplish some of it, but still saying like in there too, I was like it's true, for this in 2024. And like I said that in 2022, I said shoot for this in 2024. And then I said get a new car. And I listed the car, I got that car this year and then book, book this trip, which was Disney World, and we didn't go this year but we booked it and we're going next year.

Speaker 2: 7:06

Yeah. So I mean there are certain things, other things I didn't, you know, accomplish, like you know the amount of people I wanted to sell houses to or things like that. But it's still like, okay, 2023 is not over yet, it's not, it's not. I can still meet that goal. And just to like write down those things and realize you actually accomplished things that you wanted to do last year and things you want to do next year is still things you want to do next year. Yeah, so it's. It's good to write down those things, even if it's bad things like anger stuff. Yeah, so those good things too. It's just easier to focus it on one thing than pin it onto someone else, because painting it onto even like an animal or a person, and making that anger not, you know, towards them or the other person is not fair, and if they're angry, then them. Pinning it on you isn't fair either, and you need to realize that and not make it your own, rather than it's hard.

Speaker 2: 8:01

And it's hard, I mean. I think that's what we all can relate to For ever. Really. No matter how hard we try, it's just as easy to be angry.

Speaker 1: 8:12

So I'm going along with it, you know, with all of you as well. I'm a little bit further along, you know, because I'm telling you what to do, but I'm also wanting to be in the week, in the moment, with you. And there was one day where, okay, I knew that was Tina the barking dog. What are those things that she says to me specifically that are kind of on repeat? You know, once I noticed it, I also realized I couldn't get it out of my head. It was just like on repeat. You know, one of the things that I learned was tell your spirit to lead, tell your spirit to lead. So I did that and I was like spirit lead and shut them out of that bark and dog. Right now I want to change and I'm trying and I want you to lead. And honestly I thought, oh well, we'll just see how the day goes. And right, when I said that it was gone Good, it's gone, and I was going throughout my day and I just felt lighter, I felt like something shifted.

Speaker 2: 9:17

And I can't acknowledge that change it. You feel a shift. You're so wise. The first step is acknowledging it.

Speaker 1: 9:26

You are. You're right. The first step is and it's about being aware, you know, of awareness, awareness just being real. I'm amazed by what you experienced this week. I'm so proud of you. Do you feel like it helped you?

Speaker 2: 9:43

Absolutely, like I said, even just like personal stuff, but things that I look at, like, looking at things differently, like rather than and of course it takes a second or you just acknowledge it a lot quicker. I felt like I've acknowledged it a lot quicker now, like today, for, like I said, like for the car that was following me really close, like just realizing that I don't, I don't need to make that person, make me feel so upset and then go about my whole morning being upset because one person followed me way too closely.

Speaker 2: 10:13

So now when it happens, all of us it happens all the time yeah, it happens all the time Like what am I going to do about it? I can't do anything, so move on and on how I was doing and not let that affect me. And noticing that and noticing it quicker, like the first one, was, you know, I took me like an hour to get over something, and then I realized throughout the week it was just like okay, I don't need to let things affect me for an hour of my day to be upset.

Speaker 1: 10:40

I can move on On to the next homework phase Grounding. What do you think grounding it means?

Speaker 2: 10:48

Grounding like I almost think of self self-deprecating. I know that's not like good, we're not supposed to do that, but I think each person is their own biggest enemy at the end of the day, and acknowledging that is a huge thing is that we don't need to be that hard of ourselves. But grounding to me is like taking away something that I liked, or be like oh, you don't, you don't deserve that. You did something bad, I know.

Speaker 1: 11:14

And that's really funny that you just said that, because I swear I had this conversation in my head yesterday and thinking about those exact things, and I was like if somebody asked me what I thought grounding was and I didn't know what it was, what would I say? The definition was I'm like well, sitting in a corner with my nose in it, or my phone getting taken away or you know, whatever you can't go out, you're grounded.

Speaker 1: 11:42

You know how funny. At my age I want to be grounded, but at my kids age they don't want to be grounded. Grounding, you know, in the world of spirit, and what we're talking about is feeling your feet on the earth. Basically, like you know, when you're all over the place and your heads just kind of flighty and you're thinking about so many things and you just can't decide. What you know all these right, grounding is stop, put your feet on the ground, sit down and be right here in the present moment.

Speaker 1: 12:20

Have you ever heard of Eckhart Tolle? No, he's the most chilled person in the entire world. Don't look him up. But he teaches about being in the present moment.

Speaker 2: 12:31

Reading or focusing or playing drums and just not something that is multiple things going on. I realize I can focus on that like a puzzle even. It's just like I'm focused on those pieces and putting it together and that's just where I sit down and realize that's like. The calmest point is when I'm doing something with my hands. My brain's working as well.

Speaker 2: 12:52

You know, flipping a book page, making cookies, doing a puzzle, something like that work Lighting a candle, yeah, like something is just like going on at the same time, where my hands and my brain is doing it, rather than like sitting, because I'm sitting doing nothing. Oh my gosh, every minute feels like an hour. Yeah, yeah, that's just kind of worth. That's another. That's a good definition for grounding. I like that definition better than grounding.

Speaker 1: 13:18

Right, take away. So this week I want you to find a new practice of grounding. Even if it's for five minutes and I mean, this is so easy, jordan, I'm talking like a new song, like Tibetan bowls or classical music. Any kind of music is very grounding. The right kind of music is grounding Meditation.

Speaker 1: 13:41

Maybe you find a meditation and you do it all week, every day, for five minutes on Headspace or YouTube, or just being still and being quiet and focusing on your happy place that you have in your mind's eye. And the word for this week is generous. So during your time or your week, or your journaling or your meditation time, I want you to ask yourself am I generous? And then I want you to write down how you're generous. There's no right or wrong answers. Some people do not have time and they love to give money, and that's awesome. Some people don't have money. All they have is time. Some people just have desires or crafts or things they wanna make and give away, like meals or phone calls or spending time with someone Anything generous with your time, with your money, with your heart, whatever. And I want you to write that down.

Speaker 2: 14:45

That's a good way to put it, because I think generous can mean something super strong sometimes. But that's a good way to put it, that you can be generous on a lot of things. That doesn't mean it's such a big deal, it's just-.

Speaker 1: 14:57

Yeah, so what that is gonna do is help you discover more of your spirit. You have a voice for your generation, you know. Yeah, I'm proud of you for doing it. I'm a merry-go-round here. I love that thing. I wear it a lot. I know I love it too. I wear it all the time, even if I tuck it in. Yeah, no, it's there. Close Me, maria, me Maria. Okay, I just met with Jordan. How was that? It was so good, like honestly-.

Speaker 4: 15:28

I love everyone else's perspective.

Speaker 1: 15:30

It's so good I know and I love that she's doing this. You know the Gen Zers Right and I even told her. I mean, I was blown away by what she said, but she was just telling me her experience and what she discovered about herself and I was like Jordan the fact that you're getting this at your age, right now, girl, I wish I had this information. Then Let me see your barking dog.

Speaker 4: 16:02

Her name's little Betty Ruth. Betty Ruth, the smallest thing can make her think of like offense, really being offended, instead of spirit who is patient, and it's just. I guess it's a maybe more self-centered, because it's like every little thing, you know somebody can't do something or make an appointment or show up or something like that, and it's like, oh, they just don't wanna talk to you or they don't like you or yeah, her Betty's feistyness does also help me. I think you mentioned this in like talking about the. You know the need for ego, and it's like sometimes you need that little feistiness of your ego or the harder voice that says, like, keep going, get up, do the thing, quit being a baby, you know whatever yeah.

Speaker 4: 16:57

I noticed how much like unnecessary dialogue I take in from stuff that's just really is more black and white. Like I said, somebody just simply couldn't make an appointment and it really had nothing to do with me and it wasn't Taking things so personal yeah. Which you know, when I'm sure you've read like the four agreements and that's like one of the main things is like don't take things personal, and I think that is an ego thing. It's like we. It's easy to turn everything back around to us when really it's like most often it's nothing to do with you.

Speaker 4: 17:31

Yeah, yeah, you just kind of part of the little I will say I think a piece of that like after noticing it and then not letting my ego be overly hard on myself for reacting that way or feeling that way, it's like part of that is human nature and I mean it's a good thing to care what other people think to a degree to have some social awareness. Sure.

Speaker 4: 17:56

And, like you know, I mean, you can't just be like oblivious you know, and then also just recognizing the patterns that we have because of, you know, maybe, things that like ways people relate it to us, you know from a very young age or, and so sometimes I'll recognize that's probably why so did you do like the trail back?

Speaker 1: 18:19

Oh yeah, kind of thing yeah.

Speaker 4: 18:22

And literally like most everything that I struggle with in general trails back to a feeling of reduction and a fear of that.

Speaker 4: 18:28

Yeah, and so it can be the good side of that and I guess the spirit side of that is caring a lot, wanting to please, wanting to help, wanting to love people really well and, you know, putting myself out there to be vulnerable because I do care.

Speaker 4: 18:46

But then the ego side, the bad side. I hate calling the ego bad, but the Right, the darker side of that is the too much emphasis on what other people think and if they're disappointed or if the reason they didn't want to do something was because they just don't like me or whatever. You know, I mean I've, even I've had this conversation with my own sister, which she's my sister and like deep down I know she loves me and she's shown up for me in many ways in life, but I'll still feel she's older and I also still like just certain situations will can make me my ego, I guess think like she's judging me or she thinks she doesn't really like me or she's disappointed in some way or whatever, and when I talk to her about it and get that out and she's like I. That can be further from the truth.

Speaker 1: 19:37

It's not crazy.

Speaker 4: 19:39

I'm really proud of you, I'm, you know, maybe in some way yeah and be this, but just like, and my admirers a certain thing or whatever, and I'm like wow, mm-hmm, and, like I said, when it makes sense and you understand where things are coming from you. But also it helps you to work to change and see the truth. But I think for me it helps me Because when you're struggling with something, then there's that extra load of then you beat yourself up for struggling. Yeah you know it's just compounded.

Speaker 4: 20:10

Yeah, so for me it was like kind of a freedom of like okay, there's, there's a reason, there's a route, there's a. You know I'm not crazy or not. You don't take it so personal, right. Yeah, it's just like your way. Yeah, I understand why this happens. I recognize it when it does, and then I can choose how I Respond to it, instead of feeling like just consumed by it or burdened by it.

Speaker 1: 20:33

You know, it's like it doesn't get to control. You like, just exactly what you just said consumed by it and it helps you Separate when you put the barking dog over here and this over here and you can step back and look at yourself Objectively and say this is where I'm at, you know over looked, Maybe even in just traditional counseling, because you know a lot of times that's helpful.

Speaker 1: 20:59

But yeah Well even the Christian counselors that we visited. Yeah, never were we ever talked about God and spirit. They just happen to be a Christian. There wasn't this. Yeah, both ways. And that's interesting Because this is all the stuff that I did with Miles and my kids when we were going through that. Sure, he had therapy and you need good, solid plan to help rebuild his life. Right, he's also my kid and I know his spiritual gifts and I know the other side of it that that therapist doesn't know, and I feel like it's my responsibility To educate them and show them how to use those gifts in this world. It's gonna give them more fulfillment and help others.

Speaker 4: 21:43

Right, I love that because a I love that, yes, as a parent or a friend or you know, whatever the relationship is of people that we love, if we, if we have something that's helpful, like we are responsible to pass that along. But it's not you telling him this is what you need to do, whatever x, y, z, it's Helping people understand that there's, there's tools, there are other people that can be a tool. God in the Holy Spirit, absolutely are your source, but also you have a role and you are capable. Like there's no Therapist, there's no doctor or other person that can do it for you. You know, I think so often we want, like we want to find the healing Somewhere you know when I go to the therapist's office and be healed and walk away and all your problems are gone.

Speaker 4: 22:34

But you gotta put the work in and you gotta try and you get to be aware and participate, yeah but the cool thing is is I'm like once I realized that I had that power, I was like that's actually fantastic. I mean it's, it's hard work and yeah, whatever, but it's nice, it's like okay, I don't have to like there's a way out. Yeah, it's super easy to go backwards, but but you got to remember Whatever triggers the backwards you can get your way out of that too, because now you have the tools and the information Before you didn't.

Speaker 1: 23:09

Now you do. Now you know what to do. I just choose it, do it.

Speaker 4: 23:13

It's easy to think that you can be like, oh, I'm better, you know I'm better, I'm healed, I get it, I'm fine, and then you can have a you know a setback, and it can feel overwhelming. But that's been a big lesson for me, to learn that you know, I didn't, I didn't go all the way.

Speaker 4: 23:27

One is Stay stuck for whatever reason, whatever our personal fear or our personal past or whatever. If we all just stay stuck and we can't move our mouth and we can't do what we're supposed to do, then guess what? Guess who wins. You know? So understanding like where that that opposition is even coming from.

Speaker 1: 23:49

Carrie and I talked a little bit and it was almost like you don't take it so personal. Yeah, you know yeah. Like you can separate. You know Tina's over here. I know my best self is right here. Yeah, I know I'm gonna hear from God in my best self.

Speaker 3: 24:06

Yeah, right, yeah. So let me ask you now that Adam knows Tina, right, he knows who Tina is in the name. This is what I've wondered, because I haven't told Sunny about all of this yet. Does he ever go?

Speaker 1: 24:21

okay, maybe you got Nega talk to Tina, or I see Tina coming out, or Well, actually, what it has done is created a whole dialogue with my kids and my family. So I thought why aren't we doing this? If I'm doing this with my friends, let's do it as a family.

Speaker 1: 24:40

And so we sat down, journaled, I explained the whole thing, and that was so fun to do it with your kids, because they're visual that way and they're not going to sit and listen to your whole lecture from some film, what she believes, neuroscientists, blah, blah, blah. They're just going to participate. And Major was hilarious. He came up with his dog, the personality he came up with, their cousins and their friends and his home life. I mean this whole picture. It was awesome.

Speaker 3: 25:15

I love it.

Speaker 1: 25:16

And then when you got them there, okay, well, what kind of things did the barking dogs say to you? And I asked them that, and so did you notice. I'm not asking you exactly what it said, but is there anything that you can share that you did notice?

Speaker 3: 25:32

I think that it's made me think about when I'm in a situation, something that comes out I'm like, oh and like. I mean a couple of things. I can give a couple of examples, like being at the gym We've talked about this, touched on a little bit. Am I going to be more the cheerleader that, oh man, she looks fabulous, she's here every day working her butt off, you know. Or am I more like, well, there she is again and her, you know, whatever, whatever. And oh, she got more new leggings, or you know, whatever it is.

Speaker 3: 26:03

And it's funny because this week I found myself with one particular lady, just seeing her and going I wanted to think great thoughts, but I really was. I was like, oh, there she is again in her tiny little top. And then I'm going, what wait, hold on there, who is that and what is that? And you think she looks amazing. She's probably an incredibly kind lady. She's here every day, like you are, you know, working her butt off, and instead maybe go tell her how much you love her leggings and go cheer her on. And so it just kind of caused me to look at that, that side that just kind of sneaks out, that judgmental, critical side. And you know I didn't like it.

Speaker 3: 26:50

So it's made me more aware of it. That's been pretty cool.

Speaker 1: 26:54

Yeah, it is. And what's cool is you can stop and go wait a minute. That's not my heart.

Speaker 3: 27:00

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 27:01

You know that's not where I who I am. Why am I thinking that? Did you get any journaling time in this week?

Speaker 3: 27:08

I did. I wrote down. I probably don't write as much as I would like to, because my hands do get really sore when I write and it's really frustrating, but they do, it's just a fact in my hand just gets pretty sore. So I think that kind of slows me down from writing as much as I. But just a situation with with Sunny and where he was telling me something and I came back with what he said.

Speaker 3: 27:35

You know, sometimes you can just come across really hard and harsh and like when you hear that, you're like oh ouch, you know, and the automatic is to be defensive.

Speaker 3: 27:46

But then again, thinking about it like he had kind of walked away after that and then he came back, it caused me to go, okay, yeah, that, what about? That made it feel hard and harsh to you Because it's not, it's again, it's not my heart, it's not how I want to come across and I think sometimes I do it. I don't even remember what, what we were talking about, what was going on, but I think a lot of times it's my, also my protective mode, it's my, and it comes across more like I'm being hard because I all of a sudden I feel like a need to self protect when I don't need to self protect. I mean, god has shown me a million times that he is my protector, he's my you know, he's the one that's going to step in for me and I don't have to come across with a hard, harsh, tough exterior one. Really, inside, it's a whole different situation, you know we are the same person, Carla really, really I've even stopped and thought about it.

Speaker 1: 28:53

You know I do voiceovers in my very first coach it's you have a tone. Everyone has a tone in their voice, the pitch, a tone, inflections, and she's so sweet and she was like Carrie, you sound like a bitch. And I was like so when we would practice and I would go back and listen to myself, I could hear that and I really explored it, like why do I have that tone? And I am a lot like you with the self, you know, protection thing. But I also realized that it is the way you're raised. Who are you raised by and how do they talk?

Speaker 3: 29:31

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 29:32

So I went back in my you know my lineage and noticed how my mom and my grandmother talked and they're love you to pieces, but that's how they talk. So I really believe not only is it your experiences, your surroundings, all the things, but it's kind of like how you were brought up too.

Speaker 3: 29:54

Yeah, do you see a?

Speaker 1: 29:55

little bit of that in your song, oh I fully agree with that.

Speaker 3: 29:58

Yes, I mean, if I look back like you did, I grew up like that and a lot of, a lot of hardness, a lot of harshness, a lot of abrupt and not a lot of softness, gentleness, tenderness, especially in tone. And that's funny, because that's one of the things you know. That I always told my kids was it's your tone, it's what comes across, that you may be trying to be kind, but there's that tone that's showing you're feeling something else other than what you're really saying. But yes, I had a, you know, loud dad, loud grandfather. You know everybody was just loud and just I mean hard, just kind of look.

Speaker 1: 30:45

If you needed to get a word and edge wise, the only way you were is if you were strong and had a voice to get that word in, you weren't going to get it in.

Speaker 1: 30:56

You know, so it's so interesting because at first, when she said it, she said it's so sweet. But in a way I kind of already knew it and I don't want to change who I am and I don't want to change myself, but it is. It was definitely a self reflection. And how do I speak? How do I come across? Because I don't want to come across that way, you know. But in those times of quick reaction and then I feel like I am being defensive or I'm backed up against the corner, I'm gonna find my way out of that corner yeah.

Speaker 1: 31:33

Do you think that's kind of what it is?

Speaker 3: 31:36

100%. Yeah, so much of that for me. That's a whole another story, but is my self-protection as a kid and growing up in the things that I went through and I just, yeah, often felt like I was retreated to a corner by myself because I had to be and I had to protect and I had to be strong and I had to fight back and be loud, because that's how you got hurt and, I think, grew hard, I think for a long time, a hardened kind of heart, but not really because inside it was sensitive, gentle girl crying out, just wanted to feel like she didn't, yes, and didn't want to have to feel like she had to protect herself, that she was protected, not protect herself. But so, yeah, it is.

Speaker 1: 32:30

And so this week I'm gonna have you do several different things, but one of the things is now the dog, and you've identified her and we haven't put a name to it yet, but you're still on the fence, right, you're gonna pick out a name Because I want that to be real quick, visual for you during your week and not focus on the barking dog. But now, oh, okay, that's Tina, now I can see that and I want you to open yourself up to your spirit, listening to her spirit and deciding. So one morning I woke up and I'm practicing and doing all these steps with you guys, and one morning I woke up and I noticed that the barking dog would not stop. And there's different things. Sometimes I wake up in the morning it's like, oh, this day, these things, and it's more of a ugh. I got all this ahead of me and how am I gonna do this? And instead of I got a great day, I'm gonna do this and that and the other, and so it was more of those kind of things. And I stopped and I just said spirit lead. And it was instant, carla, it was instant. All of a sudden, there was a quick change.

Speaker 1: 33:40

I go to my cycle class I teach my cycle class. There's a lady that comes in there. She's been coming to my cycle class for a year or more and she's so bright. She always has a smile on her face when she walks into a room. You can feel it and she doesn't have to say anything.

Speaker 1: 33:57

And this particular day, which was last Tuesday, I go and after class I said, how are you doing? And she was like oh, I'm doing great. And this is where I listened to. My spirit had a lot going on that day. I had a choice Do I say something to her or not? Because I could get out of here a lot faster. I've got this and this and this to do, being real right. So I asked her and she was like oh, you know, I'm doing great and I go. I just got this really strong feeling, girl, because when you walk in here your spirit is bigger than this room. And right now I'm feeling like something's up and I had a feeling it was her health and I said, no, really, what is it? And she goes. I was just diagnosed with melanoma, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1: 34:44

And right then Pauline came in the room because she was taking yoga next door. Her sister has had melanoma for seven years. And they start talking. And then we start talking about Sylvestra, who is a member of the Y that a couple of weeks ago walked into my yoga class and told everyone that she was just diagnosed with ovarian cancer. And I'm telling her and Pauline and several other members about this story, about Sylvestra. And I said it was right before class and I looked around and I said all of you know what I believe, but I am gonna pray and if you don't believe what I believe, it's okay. But I know that every single person believes in love and so if you could just send her love right now, because God is love.

Speaker 1: 35:33

And we prayed and then I kept up with her during the week texting. I put her name on my little prayer journal, took a picture of it, sent it to her. The day before last Tuesday, when I went into cycle class, I texted Sylvestra and I said how's it going? And she said well, they're telling me after I got my port. They don't think I have cancer.

Speaker 3: 35:56

Wow.

Speaker 1: 35:57

And so I told this story to these women and to this woman that told me she had melanoma. And it was my body just did this. I didn't decide it, I didn't think about it. My hand just went directly onto her arm and I started praying for her and I said my God is a healer and a provider and I know that he can heal you right now. And she just kind of smiled and we all left. And I don't. That is where I could have decided if I do that she's gonna go tell everyone I'm a weirdo. I'm this woman that thinks I can go around healing people. I don't think I can. I know God can.

Speaker 3: 36:42

And.

Speaker 1: 36:42

I know that he uses people as vessels, and so I truly believe that if my barking dog is telling me, don't do that, cause she's gonna go tell everybody this, then I'm not a vessel for God. He can't use me for his glory if I'm not willing to participate in it. And so what if she told everybody that, so what, I'm not gonna die, I still have all the love from my family and a great life. And what if it worked?

Speaker 3: 37:18

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 37:19

And what if it didn't work? What do you have to lose? There's nothing to lose in any of it, right?

Speaker 3: 37:26

And what other seeds did you plant in that process? And you may never know about them. You know in other people what seeds did you plant, praying over her and people hearing you and hearing you also saying that you don't have to believe what I believe, but I know you believe in love and if you send her your love, you know what a kind and loving and open-handed thing to do for other people to see and go. I don't have to believe exactly as her, but I do kind of. I'm kind of interested in what she's saying and maybe I do wanna learn more and you know so you being in that vessel. It's just it's the seeds we plant, that we don't always see the fruition of it, but we listen to that spirit and we move forward with it, no matter what others might think or what they're gonna say about us. But it doesn't mean it's always easy.

Speaker 1: 38:24

Oh, my gosh, I know right.

Speaker 3: 38:27

I mean it's easy, because we're so consumed, I say, we me with what others think. You know, oh my gosh, how's that gonna come across, or whatever. And then there's just times I'm like, why do I care? I don't care, you know, I don't care.

Speaker 1: 38:42

And, like I told her, in these other people I said, the reason that I can tell you in such confidence is because of my experience. You know, when I was in my 20s, there was a girl that came over that had a lump and was told she had breast cancer. I said let's pray, and we did. She went back to the doctor and there's, there was no lump, no breast cancer. You know, there's another member named Matt Colon Cancer.

Speaker 1: 39:08

I've never told this story on public, and I don't know if I'll tell any of this. Carla, I really don't Between me. I wanna tell you, though, and I wanted my kids involved. I trained for a year and a half, so I was very close to her. When she told me this. You know, it hurt me like family, and so I got the kids involved. We would send her scriptures. My kids made this huge poster with encouragement all over it. We mailed it to her, and you know just to be in her life during that time was so great, and she was so thankful, and she framed the poster and said it gave her so much encouragement. She doesn't have colon cancer anymore. Did I heal her? No, god healed her.

Speaker 3: 39:58

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 39:59

Did it bless me beyond measure to be part of that and be in her walk. Yes, she showed my kids the power of being there for people you know she could have died, and what would have happened if she would have died? It would have been terrible, but at least I was there for her, giving her encouragement along the way.

Speaker 3: 40:18

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 40:19

And just loving her. More love while she was here, but she's here. We still text and talk. You know, last week we talked about the barking dog and getting familiar with that and I don't want to stick on it. But now we know let's open ourself up this week to what a spirit telling us to do. We kind of gave a couple of examples. I loved your example at the gym, karla, because that's so real. It's so real, I've had the same thought. It's not what you want to think.

Speaker 3: 40:48

You don't want those thoughts in your head and you know, it's not your heart. You have a word, and that's generous.

Speaker 1: 40:58

Being generous opens up your heart, and I know that I can list off all the million ways that Carla Allen is generous because she just is. But there are some people that aren't, because they're hurt. And so this week I wanna ask you to just, in your quiet time, put your hand over your heart and your question is how am I generous? Just any way to be generous with your time, with your money, with your talents, you know.

Speaker 1: 41:27

And I want you to just think about how you like to be generous, and I want you to write down the ways that you are generous and really go a little deeper in that. And then why? Discovering yourself a little bit more of why you really like that? Cause there's an underlying reason why and it's wonderful and it can really open your eyes to even more. Find out what you don't like to be generous with and why. And there's no right or wrong answers. I'm not gonna ask you to share this. Just being real with yourself and writing, you know, as we said, is therapeutic.

Speaker 1: 42:06

Dr Caroline Leaf you'll hear me talk about her with the others and how she recommends doodling while you're on the phone, while you're trying to learn something. If you're watching, you know, a video or a learning module, I want you to doodle. While you're on the phone, I want you to doodle. If you're meditating or journaling, I want you to doodle. And what do I mean by doodling? I don't mean I want you to go. What should I draw? Hmm, I'm gonna draw a flower. No, I want you to take your pen, and I did this while we were on the phone a couple of times, cause I've always done this anyway and I'm like how I get permission, and so I'm just noticing my emotions right now and how I feel, and I'm moving my pen right now with my emotions, right, oh my God, oh my God Right. So, whatever it is and I'll like, let me kind of show you a little just for an example, you see, all those like little things.

Speaker 1: 43:07

I don't know why. I was like I'm just gonna. I feel like my arm's going this way and around this way, so what's the importance of even doing that? Caroline Leaf is a doctor, she's a neuroscientist and a Christian and I just love her and she has this book called the Brain Detox.

Speaker 1: 43:23

Kiri's actually done it and read it, loved it, and it's one of the things that she recommends that you do, because you have a part in your brain called the basal ganglia and when you start doing that, it actually opens it up for you to receive information and understand information better. Like college students that are in lectures, they would doodle and they found that they retained more information when they let their pen flow while they're listening. So I tell this to Miles last night, and Miles is like well, maybe somebody is just a better, maybe they're just smarter. And I was like no, they took the same person, so they took you, taking you know the information down, what you absorbed, and then took you patient, whatever and did the doodling and actually found that you did do it and they proved it by showing that inside your brain. So I thought that was such a cool.

Speaker 3: 44:23

I never knew that you know I do the bunny ears over a fence and yeah, you gotta show me that one. Those were things that I used to doodle, like all the time. If you saw something in my notebooks, those were my doodles.

Speaker 1: 44:38

I love that, so you won't have a problem doodling this week.

Speaker 3: 44:42

I don't think doodling will be a problem.

Speaker 1: 44:44

Yeah, so last week, like I said, we focused on trying to identify between the two. This week we're really just opening up your brain and connect it with your spirit, kind of like a mind-body connection you know, and see how that goes and let it flow, see how spirit leads you.

Speaker 1: 45:04

This week, notice what you choose spirit telling you to do instead of the barking dog, if you can do that for me, I want you to open yourself to new ways of grounding. I told this to Carrie and to Jordan as well. Jordan loves to read. I want her to find a piece of music this week that really resonates with her, that she can turn on immediately to help ground her. So for her, that's what I asked her to do. Carrie, she meditates, journals and does yoga every single day, and so I just asked her to go explore if she found something that she for sure wouldn't do or that she would for sure incorporate again. Just more self-discovery of things that you like. Sometimes we get kind of just in our little routines, but we're gonna open up our spirit and see where spirit leads us to grounding, opening our heart, self-discovery and our generosity right and just being open during the week.

Speaker 3: 46:07

And I feel like this has been a learning process and it's good, so Definitely Enjoyed it.

Speaker 1: 46:14

All right, I can just hang out with you here all day. I know. Let me go get my coffee and I'll be back, okay.

Speaker 3: 46:19

I know right, yeah, I feel like.

Speaker 1: 46:21

I'm on.

Speaker 3: 46:21

YouTube. And now I'm gonna put a fire in the fireplace today too.

Speaker 1: 46:25

All right friend.

Speaker 3: 46:26

Okay, I love you last week. For you, I love you too, and keep in touch. Okay, bye.